Day Eleven

Sometimes, all I want to do is cry. I realize that a billion dollars won't fix all of my problems. It won't make me happy or make my life turn around and be way better than it is now. I honestly don't even know one single thing I would change if I suddenly received a billion dollars somehow. Hopefully, it'll be a more gradual process and not a sudden windfall. I wouldn't even put in notice at work just yet because I enjoy interacting with other people and being held accountable for how I spend my time.

However, I am really tired. I'm putting in applications for other jobs, but I have so much fear regarding my abilities for working at a real job. I'm tired of working my butt of for minimum wage pay. I'm too smart, educated, and over-qualified to be wasting my gifts and talents like this. I deserve to get adequately compensated for the amount of work that I do. I'm also getting too old to be careless about my future.

I keep thinking through all of the things I need to do in order to put myself out there, get noticed, and make a success of myself. My answer keeps coming back to me that I need to wait until I have a day off before I can make any significant progress. So I talk back to myself and remember to take one day at a time, doing the very best that I can each day. Keeping my goals in front of me, reviewing them on a regular basis, and letting go of my desire to control the process is how I plan to eventually reach my goals.