Day Twenty-two

The desire for money for selfish gain really sucks. My ex-husband is pestering me for more money for child support when I already give him over 50% of my net take-home pay. He lives in a four-bedroom house, drives a nice, new, four-door truck, has a boat, a big-screen TV, and a great job doing what he loves where he gets paid a handsome salary; and yet he has the nerve to restrict my visitation time with my girls to every other weekend, even while they're out of school for summer, even though I have to work every weekend in order to pay him the child support that I do. It's so aggravating. His selfishness and greed never cease to amaze me.

Day Twenty-one

Screw the money. I just want to be well again physically. I just want to be healthy and happy; that's all I care about. Finances are completely arbitrary.

If there's one thing my blogging experiment has taught me, it's that I will never become a billionaire based on my own efforts. I'm a perpetual student working a minimum wage job. My earning potential is right up there with the mentally handicapped and physically disabled. A schizophrenic could probably earn more money in a month than I'm able to.

Anything more than getting out of my pit of debt and getting to a point of self-sufficiency seems like nothing more than wishful thinking. Simply ending the year with a positive bank balance is going to take an act of God. There is nothing I have or anything I can do in and of myself to be anything more than I am at the moment: a broke, homeless, pitiful individual with a quarter in my pocket and a world full of potential.

Day Twenty

Nope. I'm not a billionaire yet. Not even close. I've been physically ill for most of the past couple of weeks now. My symptoms are triggered by high levels of stress and anxiety. I'm going through a lot of transition at the moment, which is good because change is required to go from one state of being to another, but it's also difficult and hard on the body. I'm sick of feeling sick, and I hope to overcome my ailments soon.

Day Nineteen

The act of transferring from one store to another seemed promising. I really thought it was going to be a great step in the right direction for me. Running a retail store wasn't exactly my idea of what I wanted to do with my life, but I thought I would be good at it. I'm smart and efficient and very well organized. I could have a store running like clockwork if it didn't mean having to deal with people.

Somehow this crazy idea got into my head that I could work full-time at a fast-paced, physically demanding job during the day and then spend my evening working on my writing and artwork. One full-time job was definitely going to be better than working two part-time jobs. I would actually get a couple of days off every week instead of a couple of days off per month. Going full-time at one job would compensate for dropping the other. However, I'm so physically spent all the time now, I'm no good for anyone or anything at work or at home.

How I'll ever go from an exhausted state of misery to an enthusiastic state of abundance is beyond me. Most importantly, I have to continue believing that financial abundance is possible. Also, I need to be willing to do whatever it takes to achieve my financial goals. And yet, I have to let go of the process, not try to control the how it will happen and when it will happen, and simply allow myself to be blessed beyond my wildest imagination.

Day Eighteen

My boyfriend is the most important person in the world to me, aside from my four girls. He and I got to spend the whole day together today, something we don't get to do often enough. He's so incredibly awesome. I never thought I would be blessed with such an amazing love. If the impossible can happen in my love life, the impossible can happen in my financial life as well. I look forward to celebrating my victories with him as well as sharing the responsibilities. From whom much is given, much is required. My willingness to do that which the universe asks of me is all I need to possess in order to receive what I have asked of the universe in return. I don't need to earn it or deserve it; I just need to be willing to surrender my life and my plans to whatever it is the universe has in store for me.

Day Seventeen

I am a billionaire; or, at least, I feel like a billionaire tonight. My boyfriend and I went out to dinner at a fancy little place out in Ballard. It was quaint, decadent, and very expensive. It was a meal worth every penny of the $113 + tax & tip. There were many days I would go out for a stroll and pass these types of restaurants, admiring the fancy plates being served to the unassuming patrons. Tonight, I was on the other side of the fence, seated on the outdoor patio, dining on a gourmet assortment of seafood and vegetables, instead of simply admiring them from afar. It was a turning point along my pathway to abundance.

As we walked back to the car, I truly felt rich. I thought to myself, "Look at us. Here we are dressed like a couple of bums. I was wearing a sundress and men's style New Balance sandals; he was in long shorts, a short-sleaved button-up shirt, and high-top shoes that zip up the insides. We looked like an eccentric couple who you would see walking down the street and never guess they were billionaires."

I'm extremely grateful to have to these occasional blessed occurrences in my life. Most evenings we're dining on make-shift salads or leftovers. But tonight was special, lovely, and memorable. Tonight marks the first of many nice evenings spent together, my lover and I, as we ascend the economic ladder of success and celebrate the fruit of our much strenuous labor.

Day Sixteen

Adjustments to new circumstances can be tricky and painful. Sometimes, they happen so quickly, you have a hard time keeping your feet beneath you. Other times, they are so slow and arduous, you wonder if anything is ever going to change. I'm currently in a state of change, committing to doing the work that has the potential to turn my life around and cause me to be a great success in life.

The greatest lesson I've learned recently is: if you don't have your health, you don't have anything. No amount of financial reward can compensate for feeling like a ten-pound sack of wet dirt. I have been physically miserable for the past several days now. It's caused my attitude to be in the toilet, and I have not been functioning anywhere near my capacity. My first few days on the job at my new store have been less than satisfactory.

There is potential for transferring stores again soon. I could possibly make a little more money per hour than I do now. I could really use the boost in income. However, my goal is not to be a more highly paid  hourly retail employee. My goal is to be financially independent by doing what I love and loving what I do. I'm taking steps toward becoming a published author, and I'm working on completing my videos for posting online. It only takes one right person to find me, and I trust it will happen eventually so long as I'm willing to do what I need to do to make it happen.

Day Fifteen

Stepping outside of my comfort zone is not only uncomfortable, it's outright nerve-wrecking. Every fiber of my being wants to retreat. My whole system is shutting down and rebelling. I want to close the door, go back the way I came, and forget all about this trying to make something of myself business. I knew there would be resistance, but this is ridiculous.

When my car was broken into again, for the second time in the past two months, my very first thought was that I didn't want to come back to the houseboat ever again. My boyfriend lives on a houseboat on Lake Union. There are a lot of transients living in the area. I'm from the suburbs. I'm used to not needing to lock my car doors at night. I thought it was enough to keep my trunk popper lever locked so the trunk couldn't be opened without the key. Turns out, that lock wasn't too difficult to break. In spite of my initial reaction, however, or because of it, I decided instead to move into the houseboat with my boyfriend. Maybe I'll be able to become a full-fledged Seattleite once I'm actually living here instead of just staying the night every day of the week.

Following the promptings of my inner voice is essential to reaching the goals I wish to attain. One word of advice to myself: my initial reaction is always wrong. If a thought occurs to me to take my backpack to work and I immediately think, "Why would I bother to take my backpack? It's not like I need it for anything today anyway," then I had darn well better take my backpack because I will certainly need it for some completely unforeseeable reason. I have experienced this reality on multiple occasions; I just wish I were able to learn from it already and get better at responding appropriately instead of constantly second-guessing myself.

Day Fourteen

Just don't quit. I might get so tired that my eyeballs feel like they're gonna fall out. I might need to curl up in a ball and cry for a few hours for no reason in particular. I might be so sick that winning at Russian Roulette actually feels like winning. Still, I will never, ever, ever give up.

My full-time, minimum wage job is taking so much out of me. I have no strength or energy for anything else. I'm doing everything I can to find a new job, preferably closer to home, preferably closer to my boyfriend's home where I seem to be spending the night every night in spite of my belongings residing elsewhere.

What else can I do? I'm working on getting a video ready to put on YouTube. All I can do is put myself out there and hope for the best. There are days when I feel really positive and confident, where I'm skipping through the day, singing a tune, and bubbling with appreciation. Today is not one of those days. No one said the journey would all be scenic and sweet, but I'll do my best to enjoy it regardless.

Day Thirteen

Make the most of every opportunity. You never know where your next blessing is going to come from, so stay on the ready and pay attention. Everything is starting to change in my life. New challenges are surfacing every day, and I'm beginning to develop a spirit of positive expectation. I used to dread each new day because I saw everything as a burden or a hassle of some kind. But I feel so grateful now.

This morning I was in tears because I feel like the richest person in the world. My actual finances haven't changed much yet, but my attitude is founded on the concept that there's more than enough to go around now instead of remaining stuck in my scarcity mentally that has plagued me for so long. I haven't become reckless, or careless, with my money; I just feel abundant.

Today was my first day working at a new store. I transferred from one retail location to another within the same company. It's still minimum wage, but at least now I'm working full-time. One of their conditions for the position was an eager intent to move up in the company. At lunch time, I noticed a position posted for a stockroom lead at another store. I'm going to apply for it. I'm a bit apprehensive; I've never done well before with accepting more responsibility. And yet, I feel like it's the right thing for me to do. It would be a promotion, and I'd finally be able to get an increase in pay. The store is also closer to where I live; less of a commute is always a good thing with Seattle traffic.

Don't despise the days of small beginnings. Working my butt off just to get by might be where I'm at right now, but it's not where I'm going to stay. I have a bright, beautiful future in store for me; I know it.  I'll probably always work my butt off; I love to feel the sense of accomplishment and pride in a job well done. However, I plan to incrementally advance my ability to make a difference in the world. One day at a time, one step after another, and one opportunity sought after the next, and I will arrive at my desired destination, at least until I start working on my next goal.

Day Twelve

My goal is not to make a billion dollars. My goal is to help seven billion people have happier, healthier lives than they do now. It's going to tai e a lot more money than I currently have to accomplish this goal. I believe that if my objective were to make a bunch of money so I could sit around and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I wouldn't be happy no matter how much money I had. I also believe money won't materially in my life until I have confident expectation for it.

Once I have a solid plan, and I begin to work toward the fruition of my plan, the money I need to finance my plan will become available. At the moment, I have a tentative plan, a vague idea of what I want to do and where I need to begin to start doing it, but, the more I focus, the more clearly I can define my objectives, the more resourceful I will become, and the more resources I will receive.

There is an element of expectation at play in the universe. I grew up believing I would never amount to anything. I didn't consciously realize this belief existed until recently, when I was doing a meditation exercise. Once I discovered this underlying idea, I was able to challenge it and clear it out of my mental thought structures. I was also able to see how this one, hidden belief was wrecking my life. Every time I would begin to develop the slightest amount of personal success in my life, I would somehow sabotage everything. I would quit, run away, or become paralyzed with fear and fail to follow through on any of the grandiose ideas I had planned. I believed nothing would ever work out for me, and I was right.

Now, I'm beginning to realize that anything is possible. I've managed to accomplish some rather amazing personal goals. I haven't done anything crazy like climb Mt. Everest or run 100 miles consecutively. But I did climb Mt. Pilchuck, and finished a marathon in under six hours. I've given birth four times and helped to raise four incredibly awesome young women. And, I've managed to keep the same job for over seven months now, a task I thought wouldn't be possible at this time last year. Anything can happen. Great things are going to happen.  A life beyond my wildest dreams is going to happen. I just have to expect it to.

Day Eleven

Sometimes, all I want to do is cry. I realize that a billion dollars won't fix all of my problems. It won't make me happy or make my life turn around and be way better than it is now. I honestly don't even know one single thing I would change if I suddenly received a billion dollars somehow. Hopefully, it'll be a more gradual process and not a sudden windfall. I wouldn't even put in notice at work just yet because I enjoy interacting with other people and being held accountable for how I spend my time.

However, I am really tired. I'm putting in applications for other jobs, but I have so much fear regarding my abilities for working at a real job. I'm tired of working my butt of for minimum wage pay. I'm too smart, educated, and over-qualified to be wasting my gifts and talents like this. I deserve to get adequately compensated for the amount of work that I do. I'm also getting too old to be careless about my future.

I keep thinking through all of the things I need to do in order to put myself out there, get noticed, and make a success of myself. My answer keeps coming back to me that I need to wait until I have a day off before I can make any significant progress. So I talk back to myself and remember to take one day at a time, doing the very best that I can each day. Keeping my goals in front of me, reviewing them on a regular basis, and letting go of my desire to control the process is how I plan to eventually reach my goals.

Day Ten

Becoming a billionaire begins from the inside out. I don't tell myself, "I want to be a billionaire." I also don't say, "I will be a billionaire." I affirm to myself multiple time per day, "I am a billionaire." My bank account might not reflect it yet, but I know it is an unpreventable reality. I have everything I need to be a billionaire already inside of me. I just need to be willing to step out of the way and let it shine through.

The millionaire mind is thinking too small. So long as I'm going to bother aiming, I'm going to aim big. Shoot for the stars. Follow my dreams. Dare to believe that nothing is impossible. It might seem a bit overwhelming, to go from broke to billions in a single year, but anything is possible.

I was sent home from work sick today. Normally, I would freak out about losing four hours of pay. But I don't need to worry about it anymore. I know my needs are taken care of. I have abundantly more than enough resources available to me for me to spend my time resting when I need to, working when I get to, and doing what I love first and foremost every day. I have no need to fear. Everything I need is already here. 

Day Nine

There is a lot of great advice out there about how to double your income, but there is a lot of terrible advice out there too. I'm currently listening to an audiobook by a prevalent "how to succeed in business" guru, and he makes it sound so incredibly difficult and unenjoyable to be successful that I absolutely would not want to run any type of a business where I would have to manage people or compete for market share. I just want to do what I love and make a massive amount of money doing it.

It doesn't need to be complicated drudgery in order to be beneficial. I don't need to make hard and fast rules to always do one thing and never do another. It's much more organic and natural to simply do the next best thing. However, it's also my best level of thinking that got me to where I am. My best thinking is NOT going to be enough to get me to where I want to go.

The best advice I've heard to date is to not be afraid to ask for advice. Following a mentor or role model, requesting help, and seeking input from those you respect are all great ways to improve decision-making skills. There is a path not commonly blazed upon which the feet of prior billionaires have trod. I plan to follow this path. It may be treacherous, frightening, arduous, and challenging; however, I believe it will also be exciting, adventurous, rewarding, and fulfilling.

Day Eight

My top 5 goals for the next 5 years are –

1)   Learn Italian

2)   Do the splits

3)   Become a New York Times best-selling author

4)   Become a Grammy-winning songwriter

5)   Buy a new car

3 things I can do to work toward these goals –

1) Italian

a)    Watch a daily YouTube video on speaking Italian

b)   Construct an Italian calendar to post on the refrigerator

c)    Make weekly flashcards

2) Splits

a)    Do half an hour of yoga each day

b)   Stretch during breaks at work

c)    Massage my hips at night before bed

3) Author

a)    Take up daily journaling

b)   Listen to audiobooks during my commute

c)    Commit to NaNoWriMo

4) Songwriter

a)    Record my songs and put them on YouTube

b)   Attend poetry slams and open mic nights

c)    Attend SONG meetings

5) Car

a)    Browse craigslist ads

b)   Test drive various makes and models

c)    Post pictures of the cars I like near the front door

Day Seven

Only one week in and I want to give up already. I feel like shit. I'm tense, stressed, and tired. Everything inside of me is getting discouraged. I'm cursed. I'll never amount to anything. Why do I even bother. These horrible thoughts keep flooding my brain.

Then again, I figure that if negative forces are working so hard to get me down, I must have some type of serious potential. I just need to persevere. If I can get myself to pouch through these difficult severely trying times, everything else will be easy. Keep taking one more step each day. And when I don't have the strength to press further, I can continue to hold my ground where I am until I'm ready to progress again.

There are other things I'm working on while striving for my goal of a billion dollars. I'm not simply starting a blog and expecting to becoming a billionaire just by writing about how I want to become a billionaire. I'm also taking specific steps toward pursuing my passions. I'm learning how to become a better typist, and I'm designing my own webpage. I'm writing, reading, and listening to audiobooks in my car. I do my best to make the most of each moment I have.

Tomorrow I will begin my Massive Action Plan: write out my goals, clearly define them, establish my reasons for choosing them, and identifying my inner motivations.

Day Six

Some days are much more difficult than others. I'm usually at peace with myself and have no tousle making time to write on my blog. Even when I'm busy and tired, writing is my highest priority. I need to keep my goals in front of me and stay focused on what I hope to accomplish. Today, however, is a much more difficult day.

My mother is in town for a short visit. I spent all day at work and met up with my mother at the end of my shift. We went to dinner; then we got her settled in for the evening at my boyfriend's houseboat. My eyes are so heavy, I just want to crash. My boyfriend is lying on the other side of the bed looking most calm and serene, and I seriously can't wait to crawl over on top of him and kiss every square inch of his gorgeous body.

But I digress. My blog is supposed to be about how I become a billionaire, step by step as I go. And yet, I believe my romantic relationship is a big part of the process for me. My boyfriend is really awesome. He supports me and encourages me in every way. I don't depend on him financially, or even live with him at the boat. I schlep back and forth between the boat and my friend's condo and work and school. It makes for a lot of driving, especially in Seattle traffic. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad we're taking the time to get to know each other better gradually instead of jumping right into living together for the sake of convenience or saving gas money.

Tomorrow is going to be another busy, crazy day. My second daughter is graduating from high school. I bought four tickets, and now, it looks like there might be only two of us going. My mother's husband did not join her on the trip out here from Eastern Washington. And my boyfriend might not be able to attend because the ceremony is much earlier in the day than I had originally anticipated. Tomorrow is a brand new day; let's wait and see what tomorrow has in store.

Day Five

Prayers tend to be answered in mysterious ways. A billion dollars is a lot to ask for. There are no guarantees that I’ll receive it. But I continue to press on in faith regardless of my circumstances. I continue to be grateful for all of the blessings I already have. And I continue to be a blessing in the lives of those around me, at least I set my intention on it.

However life plans to meet my needs is acceptable to me. There is not one right for me to be successful. If I buy an investment, expecting it to make me rich, I will more than likely be disappointed.  If I put all of my effort and energy into writing a hit song, there are no promises of financial reward or inner satisfaction. Life has a plan for me, and I commit myself to flowing in that plan instead of trying to swim against the current in order to get what I want the way that I want it.

Believing for a billion dollars means I keep believing and re-establishing my faith daily in the direction of my hope-filled expectation. I continue to express gratitude for my life every step of the way, even when things aren’t going the way I expect them to. I continue to pick up the pennies, dimes, and nickels I find lying wayward on the ground; knowing it won’t make me a billionaire one coin at a time but trusting in the power that holds the universe together.

There may be no experiential knowledge in me of what it will be like to be a billionaire. I don’t know how massive the weight of responsibility will be; however, I do know to whom much is given, much is required. I know the danger of asking for a billion dollars. I also know changing my external circumstances will not be able to change my inner attitudes.

Money does not have the ability to make me happy or sad, positive or negative, generous or stingy, at least not long term. I need to take responsibility for my inner attitudes because I take them with me wherever I go. If I’m a desperate, lonely poor person, I’ll be a desperate, lonely wealthy person. I want to enter my new-found, financial freedom with joy and gaiety because I want to live my current life with joy and gaiety. If I’m enjoying my life now, feeling like a personal success story regardless of my income, then becoming a billionaire will just give me a new tool for expressing my love and gratitude in bigger and better ways.

Day Four

Leaving for work at 9 am and not getting back home until 10:30 pm sure makes for a long day. It would be easy for me to use it as an excuse to not write this evening. But I've been making excuses my whole life, and look where it's gotten me. I don't want to make excuses anymore; I want to make a positive difference in the lives of others in a monumental way.

There are two obstacles to my achieving my goal to make a billion dollars in the course of the next year: fear and doubt. Fortunately, they are both mental constructs that can be overcome with right believing. What I choose to believe about myself is that I am capable of handling the disciple required to earn a billion dollars and the responsibility to manage it once the billion dollars is acquired.

Running a full marathon last summer proved to me that I am able to do anything I set my mind to. Remaining in motion for 26.2 miles was a physical impossibility when I first started training. Possessing a billion dollars is a physical impossibility for me at this current moment. However, I believe with all my heart that if I remain disciplined, do the necessary work, even when it's hard, and trust the power of the universe to bless me beyond my wildest dreams; I will succeed in obtaining my aspirations.

It might be easier for me to write a bunch of blog posts all at once, so I have one to use in case of emergency, but I won't allow it. The whole point of my blog is document my journey from broke to billionaire each day, as it happens. Writing a little bit more about my progress each day is the most effect way to reach out and help others attain their goals and encourage them that success is possible despite insurmountable odds. Plus, taking the time to write on my blog every day helps to keep the vision in front of me, at the front of my mind and directly before my eyes. Thank you for taking this journey with me and for supporting my efforts along the way.

Day Three

Today, I ask for what I have been destined to receive since before the beginning of time. I am eternally grateful to be a piece of the magnificently divine. Thank you for blessing me and making me a blessing. It is my joy to dispense peace and love, devotion and honor, beauty and reverence wherever I go. Goodness, grace, mercy, and kindness are the fruit of my labor for which I am longing. Dear Lord, make me an instrument of perfect deliverance and truth to be used according to the harmonious song of the universe. My desire is to shine. Help me to be extraordinary. The field is ripe, but the workers are few. I volunteer my services, my gifts and talents, my few humble skills and meager earnings to the empowerment and evolving growth of all humankind. I trust my life as a steward, and I commit myself to enrichment and giving. I now ask for a billion dollars to be entrusted to these ends with an open and empathic heart for all living creatures on this planet. We are all connected; we are all one. I pray I may be counted worthy of such a high and noble calling. Purge all fear and doubt from my mind in order that I may now live as intended, spreading faithfulness and praise unto the ends of the earth all the rest of my days.

Day Two

Now that I've identified point A (asceticism) and point B (billionaire), all I have to do is figure out how to get from point A to point B. The looming question remains. Is it even possible to go from broke to possessing a billion dollars over the course of a year?

Yesterday, I found eleven cents on the floor at work; I'm on my way. And yet, at this rate, it'll take me a million lifetimes to accumulate a billion dollars, and I don't have that kind of time. My experiment is to see if I can become a billionaire during the next year by following the advice of multiple financial gurus.

I've heard it said that if you don't know where you're going, any road will do. But I DO know where I'm going; I just don't know how to get there. One common mantra is Ask, Believe, Receive. It seems like simple enough of a message. Ask for what you want, Believe you are able to have it, and Receive what you want with gratitude and thanksgiving. But who am I supposed to ask? What am I supposed to believe? How do I receive it?

There is no celestial Santa Claus who is going to swoop down and give me a billion dollars. I don't have any rich relatives, a billionaire boyfriend, or a wealthy benefactor. I guess I could ask every single person I know for a ten dollar donation to support my cause, but even if a handful of them actually agreed to help me out, I doubt that course of action would get me very far. Maybe if I just put it out there, asked the universe to bless me abundantly, is my energetic intention enough to draw the necessary resources to me?

I'm not looking to get something for nothing. I don't want to ask the universe for anything I'm not willing to work for. I've experienced the universal law of easy come, easy go. Even when I've worked my butt off all week in order to pay my extensive bills, I still find it way too difficult to prevent myself from splurging whatever little remainder I have on a beautiful new dress or a night out with acquaintances or an expensive treat from the grocery store. I realize how I need to become more responsible with what I already have before the universe will trust me with more.

Another obstacle I have to asking for more is the uncertainty in my own subconscious mind about wanting more. Growing up in poverty has caused me to cultivate a familiarity with lack. I'm accustomed to going without. I shop at thrift stores. I buy only what's on sale. I avidly search for any type of a bargain, and I have a scarcity mentality seared into the depths of my brain. Of course I want more in life, but will I be able to handle it when it comes or will I run away from it out of fear of the unknown?

Day One

Today is day ONE! The first day of my billionaire blogging experiment. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of hearing about how I can have it all from people who already have it all. They keep saying they started with nothing. They share stories of unfortunate beginnings. But there seems to be a gap in their relatability. I don't know them as the down-and-out version. I only see them up on the stage as a strong, confident, successful person.

I am not a strong, confident, successful person. I'm a tired, insecure, homeless, incompetent loser. I work two part-time jobs while going to school part-time. I live in the extra bedroom of a friend's two-bedroom condo. I babysit his one-eyed cat every other month while he's out of state for his job in lieu of paying rent. There's a foam pad on the floor I sleep on, and I get to use half of the closet. The rest of my personal possessions are in storage in my mother's backyard shed. To describe my life as pathetic is an understatement.

My hypothesis is: if I follow all of the steps provided by multiple self-help gurus, I too can eventually become a billionaire and have the life of my dreams. I don't really want to actually acquire a billion dollars, that seems a bit extreme to me, but I would like to be able to pay for my daughters to go to college. I would like to have a car to drive that can make it over Snoqualmie Pass at over 35 mph. And, I would love to buy my own home on the lake with a big, walk-in closet and my own, private bathroom. I'd also like to be able to donate a billion dollars to various charities such as New Horizons, an organization that provides meals and counseling for homeless youth, and Joyce Meyer Ministries; I know she already has a ton of money, but she also has a great track-record of being a good steward of her resources.

It's easy to say, "I just want to make a lot of money so I can do more to help more people," when you don't have any money. Currently, I have $1,318.24 in my bank accounts (checking and savings). My paychecks provide approximately $1400-$1600 per month. It varies significantly depending on the amount of hours I'm scheduled to work each week. Just about half of my monthly income goes toward paying child support, $750/mo. I have three girls who live with their father; and a fourth, the eldest, is in the process of moving in with her boyfriend. However, in spite of my meager means, I still set aside 10% of each paycheck to use for blessing others. I'm not waiting until I'm a billionaire before I begin helping people.

All of the information provided here is to apprise you, the reader, of where my life is presently situated. It's basically in shambles. I'm financially indebted, at least $50,000 in student loans and past credit failures. I'm socially inhibited; I have no friends outside of my romantic relationship. I'm psychologically challenged, faced with a life-long recovery from massive issues with anxiety and depression. I'm not the type of person one would expect to be able to have it all. And yet, the gurus assure us that it is possible to overcome our limitations and follow our dreams. This blog is dedicated to documenting my pursuit of success, to see if it truly is possible for the impossible to occur.