Day Fifty-five

My girls get me so distracted when they come over; I almost forgot to post again. We played two games of Uno this evening. It reminds me of when I played cards with my family when I was a kid. It's absolutely the best time ever.

I'm also beginning to adjust to my new medication. The doctor was able to get me something to help me deal with my anxiety. In a couple of weeks, I might actually start feeling well enough to get back to work again. Now, I just need to find a new job. I'm hoping to be able to start posting poetry videos on YouTube on Monday. It's my top priority. I'll post links to them once they are up and running. Thank you for your support.

Day Fifty-four

All of the wealth-building books I've been researching these past couple of months sound exactly the same. They all suggest investing, paying yourself first, and maintaining an emergency reserve. These recommendations are great for the average person who wants to be able to receive a decent retirement, put kids through college, and provide elderly care for parents by working a regular job and responsibly distributing income. The books, however, say nothing about doing something extraordinary and becoming a billionaire by having the courage to follow your dreams and pursue your life with passion. Maybe it's unrealistic of me to shoot for the stars, but it's more unrealistic for me to expect myself to be average.

Day Fifty-three

He is all I want. He is all I need. My boyfriend is so sweet, handsome, kind, and awesome; I am the luckiest, richest woman in the world. I never thought I would find someone as amazing as he is in a billion years. If I can get lucky in love like this, surely I can improve every other area of my life. If not, it doesn't matter because I am still one incredibly happy camper.

Day Fifty-two

What am I going to do? The refrain echoes through my head continuously. There's nothing I can do to earn a billion dollars in the next ten months. It's impossible in my own strength. I have to be patient and allow time to work in my favor. If I set out to get out, it doesn't matter where I go or where I end up so long as I get out and go somewhere and do something.

Day Fifty-one

Money isn't everything. Pardon the cliche, but money won't solve my problems. There is an abundance of wealth in the universe. I have access to whatever I need whenever I need it. Money comes and goes. It ebbs and flows. Still, I have difficulties and struggles I wrestle with on a daily basis, most of which have nothing to do with my income. I've been miserable when abaste and miserable while abounding. Money won't make me happy. It's just a tool, a tool for change to help improve the lives of others. If I focus on helping to improve the lives of others, the money will come to me to supply my needs.

Day Fifty

Nothing's ever going to change. It doesn't matter what I do; nothing's ever going to get any better anyway. What kind of an idiot thinks it's even possible to acquire a billion dollars anyway? It's only possible for major business tycoons and financial investors, not for an ordinary person like me. Who am I kidding? What makes me think anything positive will ever happen for me? I've had a shitty life. I've never had any direction or guidance or encouragement. What makes me think anything will ever be any different?

These are some of the negative thought patterns pounding through my head each day. How can I expect anything good to happen to me if I keep thinking I'm doomed to have a crappy life for the rest of my life? I need to start focusing on good, positive thoughts intentionally if I'm ever going to attract anything good and positive into my life. Intentionally is the key word here. I have to take the initiative and change what I'm thinking about INTENTIONALLY.

It's not going to just fall on me by accident. I have to choose to believe I can do whatever I need to do in life. I am loved unconditionally by the people who matter the most to me. I might fear failure; I might fear success, but I don't have to let the fear stop me or allow it to slow me down. I'm able to get along and play well with others. All of my needs are already met physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Who could want anything more from life?

Day Forty-nine

Blah! Blah! Blah! I'm on the rag and feeling blah! Regardless of how I feel, I need to do what I need to do. Keeping up with responsibilities can be so much work sometimes. Even when the responsibilities aren't necessarily a lot of hard work, just getting to them can be daunting.  I really need to quit missing posts. I don't want to get into a habit of slacking. My boyfriend just got back from Brazil, and we went to visit my mom and sisters for a couple of days. It was nice. Back to the grind tomorrow.